What I do

This blog is an open forum to talk about the real important issues that need to be talked about. Or just the real funny issues that people want to talk about...(note: My grammar and spelling are terrible, its part of the charm.)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Cold Hard Cash


Hello all Crazy Chicagoan Fans, I am back from my hiatus... You will be getting a flurry of new posts in the upcoming days. Also, those of you who have been promised shirts, they went out today so you should be getting them shortly. Sorry for the delay.

Anyway today's post is about a story I read in the news, let me highlight it for.

A Chinese-Mexican businessman arrested after police found a $205 million stash of cash in his Mexico City mansion has told U.S. prosecutors he sold tons of a chemical used to make methamphetamine on the black market, a top Mexican official told The Associated Press.

Zhenli Ye Gon's lawyers, who are fighting efforts to extradite him to Mexico from the United States, vehemently deny their client admitted anything illegal and call the report misinformation intended to sway public opinion against him.

Mexico's deputy attorney general in charge of extraditions, Leopoldo Velarde Ortiz, said U.S. prosecutors told him about conversations with Ye Gon in which he said he sold tons of a chemical used to make methamphetamine on the black market.

The information was given to Mexican authorities "informally" and U.S. officials have not yet provided transcripts of the conversations or specifics of Ye Gon's account, Velarde said.

"We know that in the interviews he had with prosecutors in the United States, he admitted his responsibility in the commission of the crimes he was accused of," Velarde told AP in an interview this week.

Asked whether Ye Gon, 46, had admitted selling methamphetamine precursors on the black market, Velarde said: "That's it, exactly."

Spokeswoman Laura Sweeney said the Justice Department would have no comment.

The case against Ye Gon burst open in March 2007 when police raided his house in Mexico City's fanciest neighborhood and found more than $205 million in cash — mostly in $100 bills — stuffed into a closet and a wall. It was the largest drug-related cash seizure in history.


Ya its bad that this Chinese - Mexican man is selling products to produce Meth. But here is what interest me, the man had 205 million dollars in CASH. 100 dollar bills!!! That's apprx 2 million, 100 dollar bills. That is crazy, how do you stash all of that money. In a closet wall, I mean that had to be one huge storage place. 2 million of anything takes up a lot of space. How does somebody obtain that much money without anyone else knowing. Some random guy pulls out 2oo million dollars in cash from the bank and goes and buys drugs. Its absurd! But wait there is more.

Ye Gon, who was born in Shanghai and became a Mexican citizen in 2002, was in the United States at the time; he kept a mistress and a Lamborghini in Las Vegas.

The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration says Ye Gon lost more than $120 million gambling over the years, and Ye Gon himself spoke of betting $150,000 a hand at baccarat. He said he was such a treasured customer that the Venetian Resort Hotel Casino gave him a small token of its appreciation: a Rolls-Royce.

Where should I start? The fact that he has lost 120 million dollars gambling. How bad are you gambling, he must have taken the Washington Generals every night, I mean come on they a due for a win. Or the fact that he has kept a mistress and a Lambo in Vegas. Doesn't everyone have a mistress in vegas, they cost 100 bucks on any corner. Where does he keep this Lambo, why didn't he buy a house in vegas. Answer: When he went to pay for it in 100 dollar bills, the sellers got a little suspicious. My last and final question is why is a baller like this gambling at the Venetian? Cesar's anyone, Bellagio, Wynn, way nicer....


Here is the full article - pretty funny stuff.. I bet his mom makes a killer General Tso's Taco.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091023/ap_on_bi_ge/lt_drug_war_205_million_man

Crazy C going out for a ton of beers tonight ------ (Everyone watch out)





Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Dr. Suess - Jon & Kate I Hate (by Crazy Chicagoan)



If there is one thing that makes me irate,
It is Jon & Kate plus Eight.

These stupid fuckers
take up all the news time
just to make a lousy dime.

Our country has bigger problems at hand
Jon & Kate should be fucking banned.

Every time I hear about Jon & Kate plus Eight
I want to slit my throat with a rusty Ice-Skate.

High School brutality has become an after school sport
But no one hears about it, Because Jon & Kate wouldn't just abort

Our country is running out of money at an alarming rate
But no one can hear about it, because those fucking bastards Jon & Kate

Every time I hear about Jon & Kate plus Eight
I want to slit my throat with a rusty Ice-Skate.

Our health care system does nothing and its really been sucking
But the media would rather report on who Jon has been fucking

I could care less if Kate is a bitch and on the view crying
I want to hear why our fat Mayor Daley has been lying

When American watches Kate and her kids prancing around the farm
They are ignoring all the starving kids who are barely lift an arm.

The media is as much to blame
for creating Jon & Kate unworthy fame.

But who cares that California can't afford to keep kids in school
because Jon went out last night in Vegas and acted a fool

Jon is Dick and Kate is whore
please media don't air them any more!

In Final,

Every time I hear about Jon & Kate plus Eight
I want to slit my throat with a rusty Ice-Skate.


Crazy C going out for a beer ------

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Best Movie Bands of All-Time


I want to start off by apologizing for my lack of posting last week. The Crazy Chicagoan was really Crazy.

Today's blog will feature a poll, and it is all about the best movie bands of all time. There have been a lot of good movie bands, and here is who I think the Top 5 are and why:

This is Spinal Tap: By far the funniest movie that featured a band. This Heavy Metal Band rocked out and had some extremely wild behavior. Spinal Tap artist featured wild long hair, great facial hair, and they were loud as hell. Great Movie, Great Band

Wyld Stallyns - Bill and Ted, need I say more. The Wyld Stallyns created a universe, battled evil Us'es, and did a history report. They rocked out like none other, and played amazing air guitars. Met legends like Abe Lincoln, Gangus Kahn, So--crates, etc. This band is legendary, and had a great publicist (George Karlin). Great spelling of the band name as well, I would have spelled it like that.

Oneders (pronouced wonders) - Had one amazing hit song "That Thing You Do". Had a great drummer nicknamed shades, there one groupie was Liv Tyler (pretty hot), and even had a fill in base player called the wolfman. Does it get any better than that. They could have give the Beatles a ride for there money, if they were real.

The Dan Band- I know this is a wedding bang, but come on, they fucking need you more than ever. The Dan Band played some pretty great weddings, and had no problem using some choice language. Any band that can drop the f-bomb like this deserves to be on the best movie band list. The Hangover and Old School two comedy greats.

Stillwater - The rock and roll band from Almost Famous. They probably played the best music of all of the bands. Had extremely hot groupies, that counts for a lot. Did a lot of drugs, that makes for good music. Not to mention the lead singer was banging Kate Hudson (got naked in the movie). Stillwater was a over all solid movie band.

My favorite, should be no surprise to anyone, THE WYLD STALLYNS, vote for yours, or choose other and tell us what that other is....

Crazy C going out for a beer----


Friday, September 18, 2009

The Skinny on Lingerie Football



Football has become the most popular sport in America. Mesmerizing millions of men and women during fall and winter months. A bunch of overweight, over steroided (made up word), and overpaid men in tights beating the hell out of each other. Personally, I am a huge football fan, I live and die by the Chicago Bears. But now Chicago has a new football team on the horizon.

The CHICAGO BLISS, that's right, Chicago's very own Lingerie Football team. I have never been to a game, or actually seen one live. I have watched numerous clips on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB_6qhLYpCs&feature=related) and read articles on the team. A couple FACTS that I have come to realize.

- 95% of these girls have no athletic talent
- 99% of these girls have never played football before
- 85% of these girls can't spell football, touchdown, first down or kickoff
- 100% of them are hot and wear lingerie!!

My first thought was, amazing, hot girls, wearing nothing, playing football. Does it get any better than that? My second thought was, these girls are terrible at football and are ruining the game. My third thought was man I love it when hot girls run. My fourth thought was man these girls are running like chickens with mental problems.

Here is the thing, I feel bad for the girls that are participating in Lingerie football for the following reasons:

A. Nobody is ever going to take you serious
B. You could be make a lot more money stripping; especially with the right clientele.
C. A lot of creepy old men watch football, and are now going to stalk you. (slapping the base man!)

I think that if somebody put together a legit women's football league, people would watch. I think Lingerie Football is hurting women more than they know. This league is basically mocking women, and catering to men's egos. They should call this what it is, "skinny bit**es wearing nothing, running around with a ball"

Thats what I have to say about that....

Crazy C going out for a beer..............................

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My Nemesis : It's on like Donkey Kong

Hello Fans and Fanities (female version of a fan, since I decided fan was masculine). I know is its been a while since my last post, but no frets I am back in action. Today I need to address an issue that has been irking me. Enemies.

Everyone has there mortal enemy, their nemesis if you will. Batman has Joker, Superman has Lex Luthor, Blum has Fisher, Bears have the Packers, Christina has Britney - the list goes on and on. Well I have found my Nemesis, it is Stick Figure from the Redeye (Chicago Tribune affilate). Pictured above!

A brief overview of Stick Figure, he looks like a lollipop, he is a contributor to 5 on 5 column in the redeye. He real isn't funny, but thinks he is. I really dislike people who think they are funny, when in reality they aren't.

So Redeye is an on the edge publication, and a good one at that. But I think it is time to wage war on Stick Figure. Not in a violent way, but a funny way. Because, I the Crazy Chicagoan, am the premier funny stick figure in Chicago. I am like Jay Leno / David Letterman he is like that annoying british guy thats on late night. I am like Spurs he is like the Clippers. I am like Will Smith, he is like Martin Short. You get my point.

So I need help, what can we do, to get to the Stick Figure... Please respond with ideas, I think we need to challenge him to something. Not sure what, but something......

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Crazy Chicagoans Top 5 Favorite things


The Crazy Chicagoan has been crazy busy, so I am going to try to post as often as possible with my craziness.

So this blog is inspired by Oprah's Favorite List. I have created the Crazy Chicagoans favorite list 2009. So the following are the greatest things according to the Crazy Chicagoan.

1) The water hammock - I don't know if its just me, but sitting in a water hammock is like heaven. It is far superior to a raft because part of your body is in the water. Its comfortable, easy to get into, and hard to tip. The regular hammock is awesome, the water hammock is even better.

2) White Pants / White bottoms of any kind for ladies - I love when summer starts and all the beautiful girls start wearing skimpy clothing. Summer is the time for girls to show off what g*d, or the plastic surgeon gave them. One thing is girls wear a lot more of in the summer is white clothing. There is nothing like a hot girl wearing white, I don't know if girls know it, but most white clothing is see through. We love it, and its awesome. Amen White Pants!

3) Beer Coozies - Keeping your beer cold + funny saying = Crazy Chicagoans Favorite Things List

4) Mr. Skin.com - Hello you can see nude scenes from movies, without having to watch the entire movie. That's awesome. Hello naked Kate Winslet. Goodbye having to watch The Reader.

5) Breakfast - Breakfast rules. Everyone is happier when they have a good breakfast. Breakfast has the most variety of any meal. You can eat eggs, steak, burritos, bacon, pancakes, french toast, etc. Is there anything better that dipping bacon in syrup. Yum.. yay for breakfast, by far the best meal. Also, breakfast happens to be the most inexpensive meal, which also adds to its awesomeness. I haven't begin to talk about cereals, anything that can be endorsed by talking tigers, leprechauns, talking toucans, 3 midgets whose names are noises, etc. has to be awesome. I could eat cereal for every meal. Man do I love breakfast.

Let me know what some of your favorite things are...

Crazy C going out for a beer ---

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Not So Real World

One of the things I hate most in life is calling something, something its not. For example FOX calls its self an objective news station. FALSE. Bullshit. See stations like comedy central, who have shows like "The Daily Show" who advertise themselves as objective. So it's not a problem.

My big problem right now regarding this is the: Real World.

THE SHOW THE REAL WORLD BY NO MEANS DEPICTS "THE REAL WORLD". Putting eight perfect looking people in a multi-million dollar house, in the warmest nicest places, giving them bullshit jobs and manufacturing scenario's to grasp viewers is not the real world. Personally I think we should build a lawsuit against MTV, for false advertising. False advertising by definition:

False advertising
or deceptive advertising is the use of false or misleading statements in advertising. As advertising has the potential to persuade people into commercial transactions that they might otherwise avoid, many governments around the world use regulations to control false, deceptive or misleading advertising. Truth in labeling refers to essentially the same concept, that customers have the right to know what they are buying, and that all necessary information should be on the label.

Can't advertising a show which claims that it is reality tv, The Real World, be false advertising. I can claim that me watching the show, concurrently causes a commercial transaction, which would make the grossly false labeling of a show, False advertising. MTV sells shows, thats what they do. And we buy into it. It equals false advertising. ICEMAN, i need your legal expertise on this one.

There is one simple solution to this Real World problem, make The Real World, a Real World show. The Crazy Chicagoan has some suggestions on how to do this.

- The Real World Detroit - 8 people, living in a run down house in downtown Detroit. They can work at an auto stamp plant (8 mile reference) and can fear for there job the whole time they are there. They will be drinking a lot, not because MTV tells them too, because they have to, to forget about the world. There would be nakedness, I suspect some of the girls might whore themselves out to make some extra cash. Whores, Auto Industry, Detriot, Crack, equals a lot of fun on TV. Perfect scenario.

- The Real World XL - I propose putting 7 people who are average or above average weight, who may not be the prettiest people on earth, and 1 girl who is extremely skinny, hot, and a bitch in a house together. When doing this the bitch will be a bitch to everyone and think she is better than everyone else (which is not the case) it will pretty much depict the real world. Only good things can happen when a hottie is mixed with a bunch of notties.

Anyone else have a good real world they should make, let the Crazy Chicagoan know.

Crazy C going out for a beer ----