What I do

This blog is an open forum to talk about the real important issues that need to be talked about. Or just the real funny issues that people want to talk about...(note: My grammar and spelling are terrible, its part of the charm.)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Iffy Stiffy

I recently did a bit of traveling and a couple things puzzled me about airports / airplanes.

One thing I was trying to rationalize is the selling of pornographic material in airports. As we all know there are many magazine kiosks and stores in an airport. You can get any magazine from people, time, ESPN, sporting news. Some magazines that I felt shouldn't be sold in airport magazine stores Playboy, Penthouse, Ebony, etc.

Why would you ever need to look a dirty magazine in an airport, or worse on an airplane.

Gross!

Even if you secretly look at a porn on a plane (great name for a movie) what's going to happen. You will get an "iffy stiffy". The name I give to getting an erection at inopportune time. Girls I know its hard to understand but sometimes you just get hard, and can't control it.

I'm going to put a poll up to vote on the worst iffy stiffy moment, Please vote.

Anyway, you are just going to pull it out and wack it on the plane. Doubtful. Nobody is going to wack it on the plane. Also, what if you do whip out Penthouse after you reach 10,000 miles you think the stranger sit next to you is going to be cool with you looking and girls eat each other out mid flight. NOPE. Porns on planes are no good for anyone.

While we are on the subject. People who have say they are members of the "mile high club". LIARS. Its hard enough for one person to get into an airplane bathroom, let alone two.

Another thing that I noticed while traveling is how awesome SKYMALL magazine is. You can buy anything in that thing.

Top 5 things in SkyMall Magazine:

1) The Impressor - Electronic Meat Tenderizer = Awesome
2) Truck Antlers - What every Redneck needs.
3) The Worlds Largest Crossword puzzle - Perfect or the worlds biggest loser
4) At Home Oxygen Bar - If your oxygen home just isn't cutting it.
5) Zombie of Montclaire Moors - Pretty much a it looks like a Zombie is coming from your lawn, classic.

http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102876212&c=10510


Let me know your thoughts on these subjects, and please vote on the "iffy stiffy" moments.

Crazy C going out for a beer -----

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2 comments:

  1. RobAugust 12, 2009 at 10:33 PM

    I voted that the doctor's exam is the worst iffy stiffy moment. To me this is no contest. It's the only one of the choices where the stiffy would be exposed. At least on the plane you could keep the skymall on your lap and your seatmate would be none the wiser.

    ReplyDelete
  2. aaronAugust 13, 2009 at 10:07 AM

    I've had it with these motherfucking porns on this motherfucking plane!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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